Family dynamics and addiction: Understanding and breaking unhealthy patterns

Addiction doesn’t exist in isolation, and often impacts not only the individual but also the entire family system – creating or exacerbating unhealthy dynamics. For those navigating the challenges of addiction – understanding and addressing these dynamics can help to pave the way for healing and recovery.

Common family patterns in addiction

When families experience addiction there are certain roles or patterns which often emerge while trying to cope with the stress and uncertainty of the situation. While initially protective, these patterns can become dysfunctional over time. Some of the more common roles include:

The Enabler – While well intentioned, enabling behaviour can allow addiction to continue unchecked. The role of an enabler is often from a place of love and a strong desire to protect a loved one struggling with addiction. This can include making excuses, paying bills, covering up mistakes, or minimising the impacts of addiction.

The Hero – Often shoulders a heavy emotional burden and feels responsible for the family’s reputation or morale. This role often strives to bring stability and positivity to the family by excelling in school, work, or other areas of life.

The Scapegoat – This role is often a distraction from the primary issue, however it can create additional challenges within the family. This member may act out and redirect attention away from the addiction.

The Lost Child – Generally this is a family member who tends to avoid conflict and stays out of the way. This can come from a place of feeling that they are helping by not getting involved and keeping a distance – however this silence and behaviour can contribute to a lack of open communication and emotional support.

The Mascot – Often a role which can bring moments of relief by using humour to defuse tension and lighten moods. This deflection can prevent deeper issues from being addressed.

Identify unhealthy roles: Family therapists are able to help family members identify the roles they’ve assumed and how these can contribute to the cycle of addiction. Through guided discussions, families can explore these developed dynamics and the impacts they have on everyone involved.

Build open communication: Addiction often thrives in secrecy, and therapy provides a safe space for honest conversations. This can allow family members to express their feelings, concerns, and needs without fear of judgement.

Set healthy boundaries: It’s important to understand the difference between supporting a loved one and rescuing them from the consequences. Family therapy can assist families in setting healthy boundaries that support recovery rather than enable addictive behaviours.

Encourage growth: Addiction is a family disease and each family member’s healing journey is unique. It is important that each individual member addresses their own emotional needs to help strengthen the entire family dynamic.

Foster empathy and understanding: A family therapist is able to guide families in cultivating empathy and understanding for one another. Recognising that addiction is a disease, and not a moral failing is vital for reducing blame and instead builds unity.