Understanding the Impact
Alcohol use disorder doesn’t just affect the person drinking; it impacts everyone around them. According to the Australian Institute of Health and Welfare, nearly one in five Australians over the age of 14 has been negatively affected by the drinking of others.
Common Coping Mechanisms
Family members often develop certain behaviours to cope with living with a person with alcohol use disorder. These coping mechanisms, while initially helpful for survival, can become maladaptive and harmful in the long term.
Enabling
What It Is: Enabling involves helping the alcoholic avoid the consequences of their drinking. This can include making excuses for them, giving them money, or bailing them out of legal trouble.
Why It’s Harmful: While it might seem helpful in the short term, enabling allows the person to continue drinking without facing the consequences, perpetuating the cycle of addiction.
How to Break Free: Acknowledge the behaviour and seek support to set healthy boundaries. Remember, enabling stems from a place of love and deep concern/worry, but real support involves encouraging responsibility and change.
Denial and Minimisation
What It Is: Denial involves insisting that the alcoholic doesn’t have a problem, while minimisation downplays the severity of the issue.
Why It’s Harmful: These coping mechanisms prevent family members from seeking help and addressing the problem.
How to Break Free: Accept the reality of the situation and seek external validation and guidance through support groups or therapy to gain a clearer perspective.
Blaming
What It Is: The blame game involves attacking your loved one for their behaviour while they blame their drinking on family dynamics or other stressors.
Why It’s Harmful: Blaming creates a cycle of conflict and excuses. It prevents constructive dialogue and resolution.
How to Break Free: Focus on constructive communication and seek mediation or family therapy to address underlying issues without assigning blame.
Seeking Support
Even if your loved one stops drinking, the family dynamic will not automatically return to normal. Serious lifestyle changes are needed for everyone involved. Here’s how family members can begin their own recovery journey:
Individual and Family Counselling: Counselling can help family members understand their roles in the dysfunctional dynamic and develop healthier coping mechanisms.
Education and Awareness: Learning about alcohol use disorder and its effects can empower family members to make informed decisions and support their loved one’s recovery more effectively.
Family members can start their own recovery process at any time, independent of their loved one’s actions. This proactive approach can help with making informed decisions about their relationships and setting healthy boundaries.
The Alcohol and Drug Foundation (ADF) and Family Drug Support (FDS) offer valuable support and information for those affected by a loved one’s drinking.
Living with alcohol substance use disorder is challenging, but no one has to navigate it alone. By recognising maladaptive coping mechanisms, seeking support, and focusing on their own recovery, family members can foster a healthier environment for themselves and their loved ones.